I think it is so awful when women hate their bodies. It is such a shame, the female form is beautiful regardless of fat, hair, spots, shaver rash, pigmented skin, etc. As a society the narrative of how female bodies are viewed needs to drastically change. (I am aware of the adversity male bodies also face, but this post, is going to be female-centered.) I also think the pressure to love one’s body is a tough task to undertake, we are offered two options to hate or to love our forms. But it is hard to love yourself every day, but I think it is equally hard to hate yourself every day. Acceptance is where the magic lies, ‘this is me, and that’s ok’ There are days when you just want to stay in bed, there might be no love present on days like that, I think as long as hate is not there then that’s A-okay.
I have found that most people are insecure about something, and that should be embraced humans are emotional creatures who seek acceptance, so the acceptance needs to lie in the insecurity and the fact that it’s ok. I feel ashamed of being insecure, and that doesn’t help.
Everybody should accept everybody. No good comes from the judgment of others or yourself.
How to change your mindset towards your body:
Limit the grimacing in the mirror
Try not to grab and tug your skin, fat rolls in a way that is aggressive. Get well acquainted in a kind way. Hug them, massage them.
Counteract negative comments that crop up in your mind
Buy and wear clothes and underwear that suits your body and makes you feel fab. It helps. Trying to squeeze into something or sizing down as motivation to loose weight is negative and toxic and I forbid you to do that any longer.
Sleep naked, or walk around in a dressing gown with nothing on underneath. Go pant less with an oversized top to bed. Some small rebellious act that says to yourself, I’m getting more comfortable with my body
If you have a partner, notice if you quickly wrap yourself in a towel as you get out of the shower, dreading the thought of them seeing you in bright light
Do you only feel comfortable having sex in the dark? Try putting the hallway light on with the door slightly ajar to let it lightly illuminate the room. Move at your own pace with this. But all these acts are telling your mind and body that it is shameful to be seen, perpetuating the negativity you hold towards yourself.
Accept yourself by knowing yourself.
I like to get well acquainted with my body, I sit naked or in underwear after a shower, whilst I get ready to do my hair or make-up, more often than not I prefer myself out of clothes than in them. Clothes can squish and pull and feel tight, whereas in your birthday suit, you’re as you are and it feels free. I have spent time figuring out how I like to dress for myself, making me feel good, sexy, and confident. When I try to dress for others or overthink about fitting in with what I wear I feel stressed and pressured. I end up feeling uncomfortable.
Knowing what you like and don’t like about yourself, is the start of the road to acceptance. Knowing my small chest size was an insecurity, I now accept that it’s not going to change unless I take drastic measures, I have learned to be okay with it and now don’t mind it. Accepting your ‘flaws’ can make you feel empowered.
Spilling tea with tamara 