Insecurities they’re something we all have but don’t really talk about. We keep them to ourselves covered in shame. I think it’s about time that changed. So where do insecurities com from? They come from a lack of self-worth, a lack of self-belief, comparison to others and being generally unhappy with your current state that you’re wishing for something to change, wishing for something to be different which exacerbates an insecurity. Feeling insecure is an all encompassing feeling, it ruminates in your soul, making you feel less than and inferior.
For me one of my biggest insecurities is the size of my chest. 32A to be precise. (On a good day) As a woman that’s what you’re supposed to have right? Boobs! It was all I could think about growing up, it would be on my mind and make me feel like crap. It’s hard to accept what we deem flaws. We all have our insecurities, it’s up to us to try to accept and own them.
So how do you overcome insecurity?
Practice self-approval. Watch your negative thoughts, they’re solidifying your negative opinions. For example if you’re insecure about your intelligence, you can counteract thoughts of incompetence or stupidity, with I’m learning and understanding at my own rate and that’s okay. I will understand this. If its negative thoughts towards you body, try not to grimace in the mirror or avert your eyes, try and say thank you body for keeping me alive, I accept the way I look. Eventually you can build it up to celebrating all you are with self-love but until then acceptance is a great starting point.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Learn to detach yourself from other people’s appearances, how someone else looks doesn’t take anything away from you. It’s so easy for your mind to run away with jealousy, wishing you had what someone else has because on the outside their life looks perfect, they look happy and confident in their own skin. And its amazing if that is the case, but no ones life is perfect. That person might be grateful for their life and overcome the bumps easier because of that. And when you stop comparing and start accepting you will slowly develop a more resilient mindset.
Purge your social media, vet watch you’re watching on tv. I didn’t watch love island for ages and when I have it’s been the odd episode as I had deep insecurities and as I was becoming more accepting of myself I didn’t want to impact my progress. Our diet is so much more than food and drink. Its what we mentally consume, when my discover page on Instagram was filled with fitness models and diet tips I was deeply ashamed and insecure that I didn’t look like them, and to be honest without surgery I never would. I had two options surgery or self-acceptance and I can tell you I was pissed off with the later. But my squeamish nature wouldn’t allow the first. Once you clear what potentially triggers you, your brain will stop looking for the comparison and eventually you will wish less to change.
Write down things you like about yourself, not just your physical appearance but what qualities or habits do you like about yourself? You are more than your physical appearance and that is a major lesson to learn in itself. When you look deeper than the surface it helps you learn who you are and that you are so much more than your appearance.
Live in the moment & look for joy, actively participate in your own life. When you stop living and saying yes its easy to get stuck in a rut. Don’t get me wrong time on your own is great to fill up your social cup and reflect. But try and start doing small things with your life. If you choose to live in the shadows it can deepen the insecurity. Dance to your fave song naked, jiggle your thighs, rub oil into your legs and appreciate your body. Appreciate your skin, appreciate your emotional and mental cpacity.
Acceptance leads to being okay. Navigating who you are what you stand for isn’t easy, learn to overcome insecurities face them head on with a hug and a smile.
We all come in different shapes and sizes and we decide how we feel about who we are and our bodies.
So celebrate what you’ve got. Your worth and value comes from within! Read more on dealing with insecurity here!
Spilling tea with tamara 