Only recently have I discovered that there was such a thing as love languages…at first, I thought it was bullshit. But then I looked them up and took the test and it was pretty spot on. Mine were words of encouragement (words of affirmation), acts of service, and physical touch which is so true, positive words from those closest to me gives me a warm feeling inside, words make me feel seen and understood, acts of service like making me a cup of tea is the highest act of telling me you love me, making me food when I can’t be arsed…you get the jist and physical touch makes me feel comforted and getting down and dirty makes me feel desired and sexy. Not complicated at all…right?!
I think it’s natural to show love how you want to receive it, you don’t always want to ask how someone wants to be shown love because then it feels forced. But without that knowledge we could be in for a long arduous battle. Making someone feel understood and appreciated is fab and to feel that back is even better. Relationships are not all sunshine and roses but knowing how to treat your other half how they like it is a good way to make the good times better.
What are different love languages?
The 5 different love languages are:
l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “I thought you smashed it today, you’ve grown so much, I’m proud of you’’ Not – “It’s about time you bucked your ideas up and put yourself out there, the opportunities weren’t going to come to you.”
2. Gifts – a gift says, they were thinking about you and wanted to show that.
3. Acts of Service – Doing something for someone else that you know they would like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, getting you a glass of wine or making you a cup of tea, are all acts of service. Little gestures that make their life a little bit easier and them not having to ask.
4. Quality time – giving someone your undivided attention, talking and actively listening. Not just sitting side by side at other ends of the sofa mindlessly watching the tv.
5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, doing the dirty in doggy, are all expressions of love.
Love languages aren’t exclusive to romantic relationships, they are relevant in friendships, familial relationships, even with your colleagues. Discovering other people’s love languages and speaking it often keeps relationships more in sync and aligned.
Everyone has their own love language that they feel more deeply than others, what’s your love language? Even though there are five different love languages, you can adopt more than one.
They key to finding out each other’s love languages above all is communication, communication and more communication! There’s no way around it, even if it feels unnatural or uncomfortable Communication is and always will be key.
Google the love language test and find out yours!