Destroy the idea that there is an expectation to do things by a certain age. You don’t have to be married with kids at 25. It’s okay to not have your dream job at 30 or to not have graduated by 21. It’s okay to have a career change at 50. There are no rules to life. Life is neither a race or a competition.
“Comparison is the death of joy.” – Mark Twain
Comparing ourselves to others allows them to drive our behaviour. This type of comparison is between you and someone else. Sometimes it’s about something genetic, like wishing to have a different hair colour, but commonly we compare ourselves to other people’s capabilities that we wish we had.
The danger of comparison is how it prevents us from being truly happy and authentic to who we are. If we acknowledge this and tell ourselves that we are all different, we can get away from this idea and set ourselves and each other free.
When we constantly compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own. Comparisons often result in resentment. Resentment towards others and towards ourselves. Comparisons deprive us of joy.
I use to find it hard to not subconsciously compare myself to those I aspired to be like or who I was around, I started to feel consumed by what I should be doing, what progress I should have already made in my life and how much money I should have saved or how much I should have travelled…the list can go on and on. But as I started to recognise these toxic thoughts that made me feel bad about myself and what choices I had made, it was easier to identify when I would slip into this headspace, which I would then try to check myself and challenge these thoughts..
We will still compare ourselves to others, its human nature. However, what we can do is differently is sit with the thoughts and figure out what’s making us slip into these thoughts and behaviours. Where has the feeling come from? Once you have done that, try to let it go. It can take a few goes and being kind to yourself, but eventually the fog clears, and you feel lighter.
All comparison does is breed negativity and anxiety. Enjoying the small things, enjoying the journey, the struggle and the lessons is what it’s all about.
I love the quote, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
-Dr. Seuss
I love it because it’s positive and simple, yet true.
You do you, forget the indoctrinated timeline and live life on your own terms by your owns beliefs and desires!
Spilling tea with tamara 